Am important post you should all read.

I feel like when one becomes a blogger (which I obvs am), you search for all of these important topics to blog on and every once in a while, you get hit with an excited wave of inspiration that makes you say NOTHING IN THE WORLD CAN STOP ME FROM GIVING MY OPINION ABOUT THIS TOPIC.

I have found another one of these topics.

Today, my faithful readers, I am going to talk to you about......

How to properly load a dishwasher.

I think Lloyd will take a particular interest in this post.

I should probably take the time now to point out that I am slowly and purposefully transforming myself into Lloyd. Being a homeowner, if you have a Lloyd around, it's really very useful. You can say things like "Lloyd, at what price should I buy lean ground beef?" and Lloyd will confidently tell you "$1.99/lb". Lloyd may also let you know which stores currently have such a deal, or at what time of the week you should go to Superstore in Bayers Lake to get good deals on meat (Monday morning y'all).

Similarly, if you were to wonder, I wonder how much each meatball costs in this giant batch I just made? If you were Lloyd, you would know it was $0.30.

So, I have found myself attempting to accumulate and make use of Lloyd's excellent life knowledge. I calculate the price per roll of toilet paper at the grocery store. I then compare it to the detailed per roll information that Lloyd has imparted on me ($0.25 per roll? Purchase. Higher? Do not purchase). I make a note of how many liters of ice cream are in the containers. I then consider writing a letter to Farmers to tell them how indignant I'm feeling about it, and how they're not fooling me.

And now we come to today's topic.

When I was little, I would see Lloyd constantly rearranging dishes in the dishwasher. OMG Why does he CARE so much? I would think.

NOW I UNDERSTAND.

Let's start out with illustrating my first tips with a picture. Please take a look and note the loading errors.

It makes me shudder just looking at it.

Number 1 - don't put containers in the dishwasher. Just don't do it. Sue, I'm looking at you. They will flip over, WHY DOES THAT NOT BOTHER YOU. I can't *scientifically* say that anything bad will happen to the container other than it flipping over, but I just can't handle it. If a container is upside down in the dishwasher, and I go to take it out, there is WATER in the lip for the cover and it goes ALL OVER ME. WAHHHH I'm upset just thinking about it.

Next, that strainer is taking over half of the bottom rack. You had pasta and water in there, and it basically is still clean. It would take 30 seconds to wash. Do not put large items in the dishwasher. That space is valuable.

Thirdly, I have adopted a new habit with my dishwasher loading skills over the past few years. It is based on common sense.

Put some of your cutlery facing upwards!!!!!!!!! Genius?!?! Yes. If your spoons are spooning throughout the wash cycle, do you think they're getting as clean as they can be?

These are my first few tidbits. Now we get to the really important stuff. Listen up, because if I see this situation at your house, I'm going to be upset.

Large dish = outside of rack.

Small dish = inside of rack.

If you put a large dish in front of a small dish, do you think the soap is going to leap over the large one and zero in on the small one? No. It won't.

Take a look at this picture and tell me how it makes you feel.

Don't you feel calm inside? Ahhhhh. It's so neat and tidy. Now THIS is how a dishwasher should look.

Don't go trying to sneak in another plate on the right hand side. It won't be solidly anchored in there and it will wiggle around.

Oh and here is a S. Dickey favourite - let's put a COOKIE SHEET in that spot.

WHY would you do that to meeeeee.

I leave you with one final note. I'm not sure how you might use the wrong soap in the dishwasher, but make sure you don't, otherwise this might happen.